Episode 56 - Quotes to Lead By: Culture, Failure, and Finding Your Why

Quotes to Lead By

Aug 27

Episode #56 | Quotes to Lead By | Culture, Failure, and Finding Your Why

In this episode, Mark gets real about the ups and downs of running a business, parenting, and life in general. He shares some of his go-to quotes, talks about why having a solid company culture matters way more than any fancy strategy, and opens up about learning from failure (and why you shouldn’t stress about being perfect). It's an insightful and down-to-earth episode packed with practical advice and a healthy dose of encouragement for anyone leading a team or building a business.

About The Curious Builder

The host of the Curious Builder Posdast is Mark D. Williams, the founder of Mark D. Williams Custom Homes Inc. They are an award-winning Twin Cities-based home builder, creating quality custom homes and remodels — one-of-a-kind dream homes of all styles and scopes. Whether you’re looking to reimagine your current space or start fresh with a new construction, we build homes that reflect how you live your everyday life.

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Mark D. Williams 00:04
I had a podcast recording earlier today, and I found my mind was drifting because I was contemplating this difficult conversation I was gonna have. So, you know, after that was over, I went for a 10 minute walk, just get outside, move around a little bit, and come back, and the conversation went, great. I don't know if it's because of the walk or it was my attitude adjustment or what? But, you know, sometimes we just need those 10 minutes to sort of just reset.

Mark D. Williams 00:31
Welcome to the curious builder Podcast. I'm Mark Williams, your host. Today, we've got another super quote, Dave. So basically working through a list of quotes, as I've mentioned before, if you've listened in, I think this is number is number four, basically just list out quotes and kind of just things that have meant a lot to me in business, that I use a lot. Sometimes I write stuff down continuing on from last week's the one that actually this came out, episode one of the curious builder podcast. Ed Engelbrecht is the one that shared this with me. Go back to Episode one if you're interested and it's culture trumps strategy. I've heard also that culture eats strategy for breakfast, and you can have the best strategy, the best game plan, but really it's the people in the business. It's the culture of your company that no matter what strategy you have, I'm not saying strategy you have. I'm not saying strategy is not important. I think it is very important. But if you don't have the right culture to support it, it doesn't have the same effect. And you could have an incredible culture, and your strategy might not matter as much because your culture is so strong. I think I've read some books on this where, especially a small company, you know, let's say like mine. I'm just five people. We're pretty small. As companies get bigger, it's very difficult to maintain a cultural effect, because a lot of times the owner was kind of the owner, if you will, pun intended of the culture. And so I think that's where mission emissions and sort of mission value statements, vision statements, are super important to companies. You look at a company like Apple, I don't even know how many employees there are, but you know, especially when Steve Jobs was there, there was a very clear vision, a very clear culture. He left for a few years, and they faltered. He came back, and they thrived, and they had a very clear culture. They attracted people to their company, to their brand, because they were so clear on their why. Simon Sinek has a really good book that I read last year called know your why. If you haven't checked it out, I'd highly recommend it. It's really incredible. I'd even say, for me personally, I'd say so I've been building for 21 years. I'd say the last three, four years, I've gotten very clear on my why for building custom homes. And I'd say today, it's maybe been, it's clearer than it's ever been. And there's a variety of reasons for that. One is, I think as you get older, you have some experience and you kind of understand what's important to you. I think as my kids get older, May is nine and Simon is seven, and dates five, I think your kids sort of help inform, like, your why, like, what's important to you, which, then that's your personal life. Then it also sort of informs your business. I think the curious builder has brought a lot of clarity to what fulfills me and what energizes me, and how I show up, not only for my family, for my own company, but also my peers around the country and so anyway, really getting clear on your why, which really then helps your culture. I think that's super, super important, and sometimes it's a journey to figure out what your why is. I was thinking a little bit. Excuse me, there's another one that's really funny. Don't believe everything you think. I think this one's actually pretty funny. I remember hearing this and saying, like, Oh, I gotta write that down. Don't believe everything you think. And I think this is the value of having friends in your life. There's a verse in the Bible. It says, Faith, Lord, are the wounds of a friend. You know, when we it takes a real friend to come up to you and say, Mark, you're in the wrong. You know you need to know that what you're doing is incorrect. Because most people don't take correction very well. I'm no exception. I don't think I take correction particularly well. There are certain people I will say that when they correct me, I'm way more open to listening to mainly because they're so good in how they deliver their corrections. And ultimately, when it comes from a place of love and care, it obviously is received so much better. In the previous podcast, I had mentioned a quote that I just heard thinking my buddy drew Beeson, you know, he said, focus on, you know, focus on the problem, not the people. Or, you know, be hard on the problem, easy on the people. And I think this is true too. I think when we approach people for correction, understanding that, how do we get this message across? You know, Is it best for them? Is it best for the company? Is it best for the culture? It likely is. So the question is, how do we deliver it so that they can receive it? Because again, of course, people want to hear good news. They want to hear that they're doing a great job. And I think it's easy when the effort is there. I think when people's effort is there, if you don't have to critique people's effort so much easier, if you have to tell people that they need to try harder, I don't know. I don't. Know how I don't know how effective your message is going to be, because I feel, I feel like effort is one of the few things that we can all bring to our relationships, to our job, to our career, to everything, honestly, like our effort. What is our intention, skill and how we do it? I think we can be pretty terrible at those things. That we can get better at them. I think we can have grace with people. Grace with people. I think when people are trying hard, I think you can do a lot with that. You know, if you told me Mark, you can pick someone that just tries super hard, or you can have someone that's really great at everything but has a lackluster effort. I'm picking the person that tries hard all day long. I used to coach cross country running. I used to say that all the time. Give me a try. Give me someone that's willing to sweat and to hurt and to try and put it all in the line. I actually don't even care if they're fast, because that's not important to me. What's important to me is, are you going to try? Are you going to give it your all? I think that's why setting goals that you can fail latter summer, because it's pretty cool. You know, if you've been listening to the podcast, you know, I've been training for eight months for a big race, and by the time this airs, the race will be over. Maybe I'll do a little episode about it. But, you know, I think it's okay to fail. I think failure, that's the whole reason we have this series of losers or winners. Is failure precedes success. I think you need it. I think it's really important for our businesses and for ourselves anyway. I don't believe everything you think. I think going back to this quote of having people around you that will tell you the reality of it, and I think that's the mark of a true friend. I tell my clients all the time, you don't want to surround yourself with a bunch of yes men and yes women like you. Want people that will tell you that you're their real opinion. You know, I unfortunately have to tell my client like, I'm sorry you can't have everything you want at that budget. Your budget is 3 million. That's not 10 million. And there's colloquially, there's other things that are sort of derogatory, like, oh, they have beer budget and champagne taste. I mean, that's fine. You can laugh about it, and not that that analogy isn't true. But, you know, most people are not trying to be difficult. Most people are not trying to be unrealistic. I think if they are, then those are really difficult conversations, but I think it's just helping them understand what's attainable, what's reasonable, and how we can help them get there. In any business, I don't care what business you're in, you know, I think if you show up to an ice cream shop and you're expecting a triple decker ice cream cone, and they're like, we only do single scoops, like you're on two different parts, you gotta, obviously have to pay more for triple scoop. That's how it goes. Wasn't planning on that analogy, but there you go. A man on his feet are worth two in a seat. I love reading quotes I haven't read in years that one's just kind of catchy. A man on his feet are worth two in a seat. I think this is just activity, breeze activity, you know, you know. I think what is so impressive about construction in general is, you know, you go to the field. I'm always just amazed at how hard the people we work with work in, day in and day out. I need to do a better job of complementing that effort, because it is impressive. And when I do go to the job sites,

Mark D. Williams 07:57
when I do go to the job sites, I always make an effort to say, thank you. You You know, appreciate your hard work, but I can do a better job of it. I often, when I go to the job site, you know, I'll buy everyone who's their pizzas. If I go over the lunch hour or maybe that morning, I'll say, Hey, you guys are a great job. Can I send you guys pizza? It's a little it's a small token of effort hot day. You know, a lot of framers across America do this now. Supply your guys with cold drinks or ice cream, whatever it might be. Just say thank you. They're working so hard. I think it's not physical labor. Is not what my day to day looks like, but I highly prioritize physical health, and I think it has so many benefits. But I was thinking about your framers, or all the guys that are in the field. They're up early, they're on the job site early. They're working all day long. One thing that I should really ask is, how many of them can you even prioritize fitness outside of your kind of normal grind? You know, I think of like a roofer who's on the roof, hauling bundles in the heat all day long, sweating buckets. I don't know. I mean, is it unrealistic to also ask them to prioritize their physical health with training, whatever it might be, lifting weights, yoga, running, biking, basketball, whatever your thing is. I don't know. I should probably do a better job of asking my trade partners if they're interested in that, because I think it's obviously as owners and someone who's very much interested in wellness, we have the curious builder boot camp for goodness sakes for that very reason. But it's mostly owners that are going to that most of the people are have are out of manual labor. I don't think we do a great job of addressing, you know, if you are in manual labor, what does wellness look like to you? I think that would be actually a really interesting topic to bring, you know, bring some people on and ask them what's reasonable another this is probably more just a thought than a quote. But, you know, set meetings that are 50 minutes, that start five minutes after the hour and end five minutes before the hour. For those that of us that do a lot of virtual meetings and client meetings, it seems like we're always it's always on the half hour. It's either the hour or the half hour, and I think our calendars are sort of set up that way. It's a lot. It's kind of a pain in the butt to set something to start five. Minutes later. But you know, for honest, we're always, at least I am. I think most people are. It's like, you're always like everyone that first five minutes, everyone's kind of scrambling, because you maybe left one meeting to get to another meeting, or you're answering an email real quick. And I know a lot of people tend to overbook. We're like airplanes. We depend on people canceling, because if they don't, we're overbooked, and then we have to cancel. And so I think there's something to be said about not being so maximally efficient at everything, you know, allowing some space to breathe. I know I'm a hypocrite here. That's the reason I say it out loud, is I need help remembering this. I need to create space to have time. And anyway, I sort of like the scheduling. It's just a small thing. You just bought back 10 minutes of your time. You know, it just might be to do nothing. Maybe it's a walk down the block. I had a difficult conversation I had to have today, and I just wasn't it was just kind of on my mind all morning. So it affected my thinking. I had a podcast recording earlier today, and I found my mind was drifting because I was contemplating this difficult conversation I was gonna have. So, you know, after that was over, I went for a 10 minute walk, just get outside, move around a little bit, come back, and the conversation went great. I don't know if it's because of the walk or with my attitude adjustment or what, but you know, sometimes we just need those 10 minutes to sort of just reset. And I think a walk is great.

Mark D. Williams 11:19
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I know, I love, you know, I have never seen a paint job I couldn't find something I could improve upon. But that doesn't mean I haven't had excellent painters, excellent paint. It's just something that's like, it's hard to have perfect paint an entire house, and especially as the homes get higher, scaled, larger, more expensive, more intricate. There's always something that you can find that's not perfect, you know, I'm kind of like, don't let the best be the enemy of the good, you know. And again, we're the business of at least for me, I'm, you know, high end building and architecture like I want. It's not that I don't want the best, but, you know, it's at some point we have to draw a line and say that's good enough, unless the client was willing for an unlimited budget, which I've yet in 21 years, ever met a client that had an unlimited budget, I think, like the car finish, just like silver, glossy. Nobody, nobody, everyone. So I will have, like, a cabinet that has that finish, you know, like in a bar or an island or something like that, but certainly not all the trim in the whole house. And if they, if the client, if that was their expectation, then the pricing would also justify that expectation. We could certainly do it. I have no qualms that we could do the best or have all of that. Let's say trim or mill work perfect. But are you willing to pay the cost to do that? Is 99% 97% good enough? Or do you need that extra 3% to be happy with it. And here's the wild thing, give that house six months and it won't be 100 anymore, no matter what you do. Because guess what, homes move. You know, in our climate, you know in the wintertime and when it's minus 20, you know your humidity is down in single digits. And in the summertime, you know this summer has been just a mug fest. You know, training in this humidity has been brutal. You know you're gonna get 90 some percent humidity, your woodwork is going to swell. So even if it was perfect on the day they moved in, it's different the next day. So I think if you're getting to the 90th percentile on your quality, I think you're doing a pretty good job. Don't be too hard on yourself. And I think this is, again, setting expectations. Don't judge me by my best or my worst. Judge me by what I do consistently. I think this is. True of friendships, relationships. Someone recently told me that if you want to see your future, look at your five closest friends, you know, show me your friends, and I'll show you your future kind of concept. And there are certain times where you need to pick up your friends because they're in difficult spot, and there's sometimes they need to pick you up. And I think our spouses see the best or more sides of us, because they were in like a little test tube chamber. They see us all the time, maybe too much of the time. I remember when my wife and I were dating, it was long distance across the country, because I was in Minnesota and she was in California during presidency. And so you know, when you're apart, what's that old quote that distance makes the heart grow fonder. And when you're apart from each other, things are pretty great. You fly in, you're a weekend. It's romantic. It's like out of a rom com movie. It's like things are great all sudden now you're spending every single day of your life together. Some people can handle that. Some people can't, I think especially if I'm getting a little TMI here, as you get older, I got married when I was I think 33 you know, I've been independent most of my life. And I think people get used to having some sort of autonomy. You hear this, I know that my clients have had this. I've had a couple clients where the the missus was retired or earlier than her husband, or she, you know, was a homemaker, in this case, and she her husband worked in the medical field and worked in a different state. In fact, I only met him twice during the build, and when we were done with the build, about two months before done, he had moved back because they had sold, you know, this hospital practice, or whatever he was doing, and he was there all the time. I remember with Clyde being like, Oh man, I have to he's just, I wish he would go back to work, seeing him every day, all day. She was so annoyed, because for 4050, years of their life, he was gone in the morning, came home at night for dinner, or in this case, he was gone for months at a time they would talk, obviously, either virtually or on their face time or whatever. And then they had another home that they would meet at. I just thought it was you're at these different phases of life, having to sort of recalibrate on what normal is. And then we have clients all the time for building homes where they call it empty nesters, right? I just You hear it all the time at school. Oh, my kids are leaving for college, and someone is like, awesome, really hard, you know, I don't, yeah, it's gonna be really hard not seeing my kids every day. I'm really gonna miss them. This, this phase of life is over, and it's gonna be a big adjustment. And then you hear somebody like, Oh, Matt, Yee ha, I'm an empty nester. I'm a free range chicken baby. I can do whatever I want. And so it's all a matter of perspective, and what you're either looking forward to or what you're missing. I don't think there's a right or wrong. I think every family has their own dynamics. All right. This one kind of fitting that this one is right after that comment, parenting is a contract with failure. If you are our parent, I feel like you can relate to this quote a lot. I feel like more often than not, I fail more than I succeed. I guess I just keep trying, glutton for punishment. And luckily, kids are like rubber balls, you know? They just keep coming back for more. They just they have so much love, and they're so adaptable. Kids are amazing. We have so much to learn from them. I know I've learned a lot about business. I've learned a lot about my spouse through my kids, just seeing it through their eyes, seeing, I think, as any parent you, you know, let's say you get upset with your kid, or you yell at your kid, or you're short tempered with their kid. And then, you know, especially business owners, we're so busy owning a business takes so much of your time and attention, and then you come home, they just want to spend time with you, they just want to read a book, they just want to play Legos. They just want your time. And you're just exhausted. And it's not what they're asking for is unreasonable, and it's not what you as a business owner is asking for is unreasonable. You're just tired, and so we don't you're not always your best. And then, of course, you put them to sleep, and you're laying awake thinking, man, all they wanted was to read a book. All they wanted was to play a little bit. And that guilt just kind of eats at you a little bit. That's what I think of, what I think of parenting failure, like when I failed. Anyway, yeah, parenting is a contract with failure. I mean, you're gonna fail. I fail all the time, and luckily, my kids are very gracious with me. I think also, like in building, like, maybe, maybe, but maybe more holistically, like, life is a contract with failure. Owning a business is a contract with failure. Again, I don't think failure is bad. I think we learn so much from failure that it really helps not only define us, but it helps it not create us, but it helps us reinvent ourselves and become better versions of what we ever could be. So anyway, that's enough quotes for today. Thanks again for tuning the curious builder Thursday, you get a random variety show every Thursday that's either quotes, losers or winners or sometimes a random guest. I'll see you next Monday. Thank you. If you've been listening to the podcast for a while now, or even if this is your first episode, I talk about the contractor coalition summit all the time. Our next one is happening November 7 through November 10 in Chicago, and all the details can be found at the contractor coalition summit.com. You've got Brad Levitt, Nick schifr, Tyler, Grace, Morgan, Molitor and myself will all be there. We've got great content over three days. You've got builders from all over the country try to get it to about that 30 people number. And we'll have sponsors as well that add a lot of value to each one of these dedicated days where you're talking about contracts and spreadsheets and margin and whether you're doing fixed bid or cost, plus. Your pre construction agreements. Ian, the list goes on and on and on. If you haven't been following it yet, you should. The contractor coalition summit Instagram page is giving you a steady diet of the conversations that are being had, a lot of promo reels, a lot of the interviews that I've done personally at Omaha, which was my first contractor coalition, where I'm part of the leadership, interviewed all 36 people that attended, and we're going to be unveiling each one of their interviews over the next couple of months, so people that were not able to attend and would like to can kind of get a better idea of the value that builders are getting. So if you're going to sign up and come to Chicago, you can type in the promo code curious builder and get $2,500 off, and we'll see you in Chicago. Thanks for tuning in to curious builder podcast. If you like this episode, do us a favor. Share it with three other business owners. The best way that we can spread what we're doing is by word of mouth, and with your help, we can continue to help other curious builders expand their business. Please share it with your friends. Like and review online, and thanks again for tuning in.