Episode 69 - Losers are Winners: Losing the Unicorn: What I Learned When My VA Quit

Losers are Winners

Nov 26

Episode #69 | Losers are Winners | Losing the Unicorn: What I Learned When My VA Quit

In this episode of The Curious Builder Podcast - Losers Are Winners, Alyssa Abbott of Olive and Vine Socials joins Mark to talk through the real challenges of building a business you love while raising kids. We talk about everything from from hiring mistakes to breakthrough systems and finally building a team that works. Alyssa shares how loosing her “unicorn” VA was the best (and most stressful) thing that happened this year and why structure and trust matter more than sparkle. It’s the open and honest pep talk every entrepreneur needs. Enjoy!

About The Curious Builder

The host of the Curious Builder Posdast is Mark D. Williams, the founder of Mark D. Williams Custom Homes Inc. They are an award-winning Twin Cities-based home builder, creating quality custom homes and remodels — one-of-a-kind dream homes of all styles and scopes. Whether you’re looking to reimagine your current space or start fresh with a new construction, we build homes that reflect how you live your everyday life.

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Mark D. Williams 00:00
We're excited to announce that we're bringing back Sonic camp 2.0 on March 20, from two to 8pm we had this last year. We had 42 owners. This year, we're maxing out the capacity of the camp, which is going to be 60 people. We're going to have a wellness panel with some Everest summiters, as well as some iron men and women to compete and all about wellness and how they prioritize their health and wellness, not only in training, but in their lifestyles and in their business. And then we're gonna have a two hour window of sauna and cold plunging in the lake, and then an amazing wood fired grill, Mediterranean style food at the end of that. So if you're interested, please head to cures builder.com under retreats, you'll find everything there is about sauna camp on March 20 in Minnesota.

Alyssa Abbott 00:45
In the beginning of the year, I think at one point, I had 10 clients, Ian, that's 20 blogs, and we were like, just smashed, and there was definitely kind of a toll. And I remember thinking like, I've got to hire somebody. I've got to bring someone on to help me, because I can't keep doing all of this.

Mark D. Williams 01:09
Welcome to peers. Builder podcast. Today's guest is a good friend of ours, a repeat guest on the podcast. We've got Alyssa Abbott from Olive and Vine socials. We just saw each other this weekend in Arizona. How fun was that

Alyssa Abbott 01:21
it was so much fun. I was so glad to be there. And it was so cool getting to sis, my first time ever going to a collective so I loved getting to hear just the things that I write about all the time. I know

Mark D. Williams 01:33
that was pretty great. Well, I got to meet your husband. He came down to take all the photography. So it sounds like he's already uploaded. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm excited to see it. So today's topic, losers are winners, as we do. We talk about our failures and the things that we have done poorly and what we learned. So what have you got? What are some I stubbed my toe moments in running your business, because how long have you had your

Alyssa Abbott 02:00
business now? So I, I officially started all of Ian vine in 22,023 23 but I kind of started this type of work. Gosh, it was probably 21 so it took me about two years to figure out that I wanted to do something a little more niche. And then I did that. And then it took me. I mean, I'm still, obviously, we're all just still trying to figure out what systems and processes and everything. But I originally left corporate work so that I could be a stay at home mom and I'm a stay at home mom and business owner.

Mark D. Williams 02:35
Yeah, that's fun. Two jobs all under the snow.

Alyssa Abbott 02:39
Yes, it's good. I feel like this year has been my my year of figuring out a lot. Last year was 24 was so good. I had, like, just lots of clients. Things were, things were really, really good. I was. I remember at the end of the year, towards the end of the year, telling Maddie, my copywriter, like, we're gonna double this. We're gonna just, we're rolling. We got this all figured out. I mean, tell God your plans. And this year has been a year of growth in a way that I didn't necessarily want, but absolutely needed. And I feel like that's kind of been my, my loser, I don't know.

Mark D. Williams 03:22
Yeah, tell me more about it, like, what specifically was happening that caused you to have this year of growth?

Alyssa Abbott 03:28
Yeah, a lot of it had to do with my own team, and a lot of my own team, which kind of stemmed from wanting to have more time with my family than the beginning of the year. I think at one point, I had 10 clients, Ian, that's 20 blogs. We were like, just smashed. And I remember being like, I am working every little moment in between everything, like, my kids are napping, one of my kids wasn't napping, and so, you know, he's like, wanting to play with me. And I'm like, I gotta work. I gotta get stuff done. And, yeah, my family was just there was definitely kind of a toll. And I remember thinking like, I've got to hire somebody. I've got to bring someone on to help me, because I can't keep doing all of this. And so a lot of it, finding the right people definitely was a struggle. I brought on a really amazing VA just to kind of help me do everything that I was doing, like she took half and I took the other half, and of just managing stuff, and at one point she left, and I had a lot, you know, it was just like figuring out I had never brought on someone besides my writer, and figuring out SOPs, figuring out my system, figuring out how to train somebody, all of that I was kind of doing as we were just also still trying to provide amazing service and amazing blogs and content and research and all the things that we do. It just it was a lot. And so then I brought someone else on who wasn't a good fit. And I think. Can't remember if I heard it from you. Probably heard it from you. What is it? Higher, higher, slow, fire,

Mark D. Williams 05:05
fast. Yeah. And I like, I like to laugh about that, because I don't do that. I hire fast and I fire slow, and so, yeah, I think Walt Disney said that. Brad Levitt used to always talk about it. I've made all those mistakes too. I mean, I talked a lot, about it. But today is not my losers as winners. Today is your losers as well. So what? Yeah, so, I mean, what have you what did you learn about, you know, the so you had two, yeah, would you say the first one that left was a bad hire or just didn't last long enough? Like,

Alyssa Abbott 05:34
no, I mean, she was wonderful. She, I think what I've learned is I wasn't I wasn't looking for the right person. I was just desperate to have somebody, like a virtual assistant, and I didn't really think about like, the skills that I needed that person to have. She also was similar to me. She was wanting to run her own business, and was kind of doing side work, and grew out of me and many other clients that she had to kind of go and pivot her business. And so certainly I love supporting her and being working with her. But yeah, I mean, she had a lot going on personally and within her business. So I from what I have learned is I now have a team of all of us, including me, is four. I have my copywriter. I have who's been with me from the beginning. I have a blogging virtual assistant and a Pinterest assistant, and both of those people are specialists in those areas. And before, I was just looking for someone to kind of do an umbrella to fill those, you know, whatever I needed her to do, and now I have it a little more specialized. So my blogging assistant, she runs the blog, she has her own blog, she's worked with other writers and organized she'll have guest writers on her blog. And so it just, I don't know why I didn't think of it. You know, it's kind of obvious now, looking back in hindsight, but yeah, I

Mark D. Williams 07:01
mean, I think we all want a unicorn, right? I mean, everyone wants the unicorn. Who doesn't want a unicorn? I mean, unicorns are the greatest. And so, of course, we're tempted by, you know, this mythical creature that can do everything. And so I don't know any owner that isn't succumbed to the unicorn theory. We actually, really, that would be great to actually do. We should write a blog. We should totally write a blog on this. This would be very relatable. If only I knew someone that could help me write a blog about unicorns. It'd be very catchy. Actually, I'd say, Let's go for it. This is a live edition. This is audience. This is exactly what Alyssa has to deal with. Just random requests to make it happen, like, she does all the hard work, I provide the inspiration, and somehow this magic happens. What about Yeah, have you ever had lost files or, like, I'm trying to think of some other things that have happened in your career where you're like, oh, like, at the time, you know some of our biggest losses, like, we don't know how to get through them. And then, in hindsight, the reason you know the thing that happened to us is the reason we're successful. Can you can you think of anything like that's happened in your career?

Alyssa Abbott 08:11
I mean, I think losing, what you were just saying, losing, losing my, my original VA, felt like we were done. I was like, This is it. I quit. Like, I literally was like, I I'm gonna let my clients, right? I'll probably just work with Mark, and I will just ride this out. And because, how can I do like, I just, I genuinely want to have time with my babies. I want, I don't want to be thinking about work. And I think as entrepreneurs, we're always thinking about work, and that's been that's all, that's a whole other podcast. But luckily, we didn't, you know, we didn't lose any files. She was really good at off boarding everything. But I surely was just like, I don't know what to do. Like, I don't know who to hire. I A lot of times I'm in a lot of like, Facebook groups for entrepreneurs and women owned businesses and things like that, and Pinterest groups. And then I was like, why don't I look? Well, first I hired someone for blogging, because that was kind of the priority. I can I could do Pinterest if I needed to. And what I mean by that is just like, I can do all the graphics and the, you know, all the scheduling, all the kind of things that take a little bit more time. And yeah, so I took a step back, I took a pause. I did probably everything for about a month, because there was just a transition that I didn't have anybody. I hadn't found someone yet. And so that, I think brought me to really think about my business. I built out a lot of SOPs in the time that she was off boarding, which was a blessing, because now I have a whole bunch of processes built out that are recorded. And I can, you know, I can bring on anybody, and for the most part, you know, they could figure out what we're needing to do that next month. And so, yeah, no, that was a blessing. Like I probably were much more efficient now, where I feel more. Comfortable taking on, you know, another 10 clients, because I know that my team, we have our systems, the people know what they're doing. They're specialists in what they do. They're not just, you know, I can kind of my unicorn girl, that was somewhat a unicorn, but, yeah, no. I mean, I definitely feel like where we're at now. The last couple months, we've been so good this month, I have stepped back a little bit. I've traveled. I've had sick kids. I've had my I have a nanny that comes two days a week to help with the younger two while I work. And, you know, there's been sickness and cancelations and things. And I feel like looking at November, I worked a lot less than I normally do, but things are moving. Things are actually we're ahead for December thanks to someone getting their questionnaires to me or extra early. That was the fastest I've ever done it that I was, I was, I stood there and looked at my phone like, what this cannot be. I was, thank you. But yes, so I feel like those things, those times when you're just like, it's over, like, I I don't know how I can move forward. We're done. The jig is up. And I was able to just really, like, look at everything, and somehow, yeah, it was clearer. I was able to figure out, like, I don't need a unicorn. I need someone who knows what they're doing for these

Mark D. Williams 11:14
I need four horses. I can spare the unicorn. I need four horses.

Alyssa Abbott 11:19
I need an army. But I'm excited because it positions us for next year. I have this year, I went with you guys to Chicago, and I talked with a bunch of incredible builders and designers and architects, and I have like six or seven people that I've been talking to that are kind of lining up for this next year. And so I feel like we paused, but we moved forward this year. I think we move forward in ways that absolutely needed to when it

Mark D. Williams 11:47
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Alyssa Abbott 14:58
it's tiring. I feel that deep in my. Me, My bones just like ready to be all knowing, but, yeah, no. I mean, there's that's not even a good thing, because how are you going to grow? How are you going to

Mark D. Williams 15:11
Yeah, anyone trade? I mean, it's an it's an adventure. I mean, you wouldn't trade it for anything else. I mean, that's why you do it. I It's funny, because usually when I sleep, I sleep really good last night for whatever reason. Maybe it's because between being down in Arizona and then over the weekend and this week being a short week, I was just thinking about all I had to get done. I woke up for about an hour, and this never happens. I could not sleep. My brain was an absolute, you know, ADHD overdrive, of all the things I wanted to do and I couldn't sleep, which never happens. And this was like, you know how you wake up in the morning and you're like, you love it when you're like, Ah, it's only one o'clock in the morning. I still have four hours to sleep or whatever. And I woke up thinking, like, oh, it's probably two or three o'clock in the morning. It was only 1030 I had only been sleeping for two hours. I'm like, crap. And so anyway, long story short, I went downstairs, I grabbed a pen, and I just wrote down everything that was in my mind just to clear my mind out. And then I went back. I slept just fine. And so I used to have a pm that used he asked for a roll in the dark pen so that he could write, well, next to his bed to get all his thoughts out and then go back to sleep. I just thought, anyway, I was thinking about this last night. Well, I'm not able to sleep anyway. So it goes. I can't hear you. Your audio is out.

Alyssa Abbott 16:25
Got it? Sorry, I do that too. I wake up in the morning or in the middle of the night, and, you know, you can't do anything. I'm not, I'm not going to get up and do all these things that I'm thinking about. But yeah, I found that if I just write them down, or I've just put on my phone and, like, okay, reminder to do, send this email out, or do this thing really quick. It helps, usually, yeah, yeah,

Mark D. Williams 16:47
what, what? As, you know, actually, just talking out loud like we should do, we should totally, you know, this whole series, we're gonna start a new series, or we just started it. I think what I call it therapy Thursdays, yeah. So we're doing therapy Thursdays and loses our winners. I was gonna do a thankful Thursday for this Thanksgiving, since this is a day that'll air, so maybe, how about this for the next four minutes? What are a couple things that you're thankful for this year? Oh, man, it can be anything.

Alyssa Abbott 17:18
I'm not trying to be cliche, but for sure, you, like you, have been a huge blessing to me and my business and just the opportunities I'm so thankful to have. I mean timing of everything you know, to have met the people I've met, to have connected with you, and then, you know, all the things that I've learned through you as you're learning the curious builder and things like that. That's been, just been so cool. I don't, I don't think I'd be quite here without you. So you're definitely at the top of my business thankful list. Yeah, yeah, no, I mean it. Gosh. What else am I think I'm thankful for a lot of things I and my team for sure, I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the failure of last year and the kind of fumbling that we had, and to be able to have walked through kind of, yeah, I mean, definitely weeks where I'm just like, this is we're like, this is just a failure. I failed to really being able to take that time to discover, like, where, where we needed to make changes and things like that. So business wise, of course, like those things, the things that in hindsight, you look back at and you're like, I I'm thankful I went through that, because here we are.

Mark D. Williams 18:36
What about personal what kind of things are you thankful for this

Alyssa Abbott 18:40
year? Oh, I mean, I'm my husband has just he's amazing, and I'm thankful for him and all the work and sacrifice like we've we're in a really good place, and to be able to homeschool, hybrid homeschool my kids, and a lot of that is just due to him and his work and his business. And so I'm so thankful for that, and my healthy kids and all of those kind of just the things near and dear to your heart. Yeah, I mean, I that's I definitely my heart is my family, and so to be able to be with them and have everyone just healthy and happy. I think lastly, our little community, we have a really good group of friends. I remember years ago, I think even before, before kids, I feel like there's just a weird place when you're a you're married, I there was a couple couple years where I didn't really have, like, a super good community of friends. We've always been involved in our church, but there's different groups of people there, and different life cycles. And looking back now at like, our community and our friends, I'm so thankful for that too. That's just I've got some really good people around us and our family right now. So well, it's my

Mark D. Williams 19:51
it's one of my favorite things, you know, my mom. I mean, a lot of people do this, obviously, on Thanksgiving, but I love going around the dinner table on Thursday and just everyone sharing some. Think they're thankful for. And I mean, you know, we give thanks every night before we have our meal, and we try to, you know, have the little kids say thank you. And sometimes the kids will say, Well, I don't know how to pray, or I don't know what to say. And, you know, I mean, it's literally that thanks. And so I'm just like, well, what are you thankful for? Say anything. It's just, and I think it's beautiful to hear children especially give thanks, because it's like, so pure and so innocent and so that's really good. And, you know, to echo your comment, you know, I feel that was to answer the question, I'd say the same thing. I think the number of doors that have opened just by having conversations with people, I'm super thankful that people are willing to be vulnerable and be authentic and just to be, you know, super open about sharing their stories and their struggles. And, you know, I feel extremely fortunate to be around so many people that are amazing human beings, and you get to work with them, day in and day out. And, you know, you read all these terrible things in the paper, you know, the other day, I said, last actually, the night I came home from Arizona, my kids and wife was down at my in laws for the weekend, so I called my buddy, Drew bees, and he's been on you've met or, well, you've probably not met him, but you've probably written about him. And he and his partner, Ellie, we met for dinner, and just like I don't know, people's generosity of their spirit, and there's so many relationships this year that have meant so much to me, and just people you talk to and people you talk to and people you connect with, people that you get inspired by. And it's, it's really gratifying to be inspired, to be seen and to be cared for by people in your business community and your personal community too. I mean, I think for me, they definitely intertwine a lot. And so, yeah, I don't really have to say whether it's personal or business. It's just like, I really care about people. And when you find kind of your vibe attracting your tribe, and you just get to whatever depth you can go with people, it's always just a really special moment. And so I know I'm really thankful to have a career to that inspires me, and to be around people that are very passionate about what they do and and just good human beings.

Alyssa Abbott 22:00
Yeah, no, I completely agree. It's been cool to watch what's happened to you this year and all the growth. And I'm just, I'm excited to be here for it and a part of it the way that I can be.

Mark D. Williams 22:12
So, yeah, well, absolutely. Well, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone listening to if anyone is listening on a Thursday, we thank you for listening. If you listen on a different day, well, thank you for listening on a different day too. There's no judgment on what day you listen to this it doesn't have to be Thanksgiving, but you die hard fans out there on your morning walk or your morning run. Thank you for listening in to the curious builder podcast. Have a good weekend, and we'll see you Monday. Thanks for tuning in the curious builder podcast. If you liked this episode, do us a favor. Share it with three other business owners. The best way that we can spread what we're doing is by word of mouth, and with your help, we can continue to help other curious builders expand their business. Please share it with your friends. Like and review online, and thanks again for tuning in.